An Alternate Fortune
by Katt930
Summary: Just before Hans attempts to kill her, Elsa finds herself three years back in time before the death of her parents. Will she be able to change the events of the future? Will true love still thaw?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The blizzard was in full force, and Elsa could barely see what was in front of her.

_What have I done? _

She had to get away, so she didn't do any more damage.

"Elsa! You can't run from this!" Hans had managed to catch up with her.

_I shouldn't be here._

"Just-just take care of my sister."

"Your sister? She returned from the mountain weak and cold. She said that _you_ froze her heart."

_No. _Elsa felt her gut wrench.

"I tried to save her, but it was too late. Her skin was ice, her hair turned white. Your sister is dead…because of you!"

"No." She was a hideous, disgusting monster who did not deserve to live. How could she be so heartless as to kill her own sister?

Elsa collapsed on to the ground in utter despair. Around her the blizzard completely died down, as her panic turned to numbness.

_I don't even deserve to be alive._

She could hear the faint swish of a sword.

This was it, the end of her life. It didn't matter anymore as the one thing she had fought so desperately hard to protect had gone. Anna was dead.

"No!"

_Was that Anna's voice? It couldn't be…could it? _

She sounded so desperate, so, so-

Before she could think any more everything faded, and she felt no more.

* * *

><p>Elsa slowly opened her eyes, feeling groggy and disoriented. Where was she? She couldn't still be on the fjord as the surface underneath her was much too soft. Considering this she presumed someone had brought her to her old room in the castle.<p>

_She couldn't stay here. She would put everyone in more danger._

She attempted to sit up, but this caused her head to start throbbing, so she had to remain lying down. She soon fell back in to a deep sleep.

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><p>Her eyes were stinging and her lids were heavy as lead. Her head was throbbing more than ever and sweat was dripping down her face and sticking to her neck. She had never felt this way before, and she was terrified. Before she knew what she was doing she called out by sheer instinct.<p>

"Mama!" She cried hoarsely, her throat parched.

_What use will that do you fool? You're on your own now._

Just a few moments later she heard her door handle slowly turn and saw the shadow of a figure entering her room.

"Stay away! I'm not safe!" She tried to scream as loudly as she could with her raw throat.

"Hush, Elsa. It's just me, Mama." She heard a hesitant, almost fearful, voice from near the doorway.

"Mama?" Elsa croaked.

_I must be dreaming._

"Yes, darling. It's me, Mama. Was there something you need?" The figure was remaining a good distance away from the bed, but there was no mistaking who it was. She sounded just like how Elsa remembered.

_No, no. It can't be, can it? I'm hallucinating. That's right, I'm ill and imagining things that aren't really there!_

"No! Get away, I don't want you here! You're not even real!"

"Elsa, what are you talking about? What's the matter?"

"No!" Don't speak to me! I won't listen, you hear?" Elsa screeched, in a state of sheer panic.

"Elsa darling, please." The figure began moving slowly towards her. "Remember, conceal don't f…"

"Nooo!" Elsa cowered away and placed her hands over her ears. "Just…stop." A sheet of ice began creeping out from under her, and she was in desperate danger of losing control completely.

_I don't want to hurt Ma...Elsa, she's already dead. You can't kill her._

"Darling, you're ill." The figure rushed to the door and opened it wide. "Adgar, I need help here…now!"

A male figure, completely resembling the memory of her father, rushed into the room.

"Oh my goodness, Elsa. What's happening?"

Elsa just closed her eyes shut in attempt to block out what she was seeing and hearing.

"She's not at all well and very frightened. If we don't help her, I do not believe she will be able to control her curse for much longer."

"I'll alert the physician. He may be able to help her."

* * *

><p>"Elsa, I am going to give you something to help you sleep. Please don't be afraid." She soon blacked out again.<p>

* * *

><p>Elsa drifted in and out of consciousness. She could hear hushed, anxious voices around her each time she awoke.<p>

One of these times she heard a familiar voice from the corridor outside her room.

"What's happening? Is Elsa OK?"

_Anna._

Elsa wanted to call out to her sister, but she was not able to find the strength.

"Come Anna, you don't need to worry yourself. I believe you have school work to do, and I am sure your sister would not wish to be disturbed at this time."

That was the voice of her Mama again, so did she really hear Anna either? Maybe she was still dreaming? She really didn't know.

Elsa was still perplexed, but fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

><p>When Elsa woke once again it was dark and there was a fire burning in the grate. It looked as though the heat had thawed some of her ice, which helped her to relax. She felt much better and began to sit herself up. On a chair a little way from the fireplace sat the same woman she had seen before. The one that looked exactly like her Mama.<p>

_It couldn't be her, could it?_

She was fast asleep, breathing softly as her chest slowly rose and fell. Elsa felt a wave of emotion sweep over her as she watched her. She suddenly didn't care if she was imagining her or not, she just wanted to drink in being able to see her Mama for the first time in three whole years.

Elsa slowly got up out of bed and edged softly towards the sleeping woman. Before she had time to think about what she was doing, she reached out hesitantly with a gloved hand, and softly touched her arm, waking her in the process.

"Elsa?" Oh Elsa, thank goodness you're alright!" Tears began falling down her face.

"Mama? It is you?"

"Of course it's me."

"Mama, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Elsa." This was the first time Elsa had touched her in years.

Elsa didn't understand, but right now she didn't need to. She had her Mama back, and in that moment, was all that mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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><p>In the kingdom of Arendelle, villagers continued on with their ordinary lives. The people were living a rich and peaceful life; trade was flourishing, and most were wanting for nothing. Each year new babies were born, and the joyous sounds of children's laughter could be heard on the streets, bringing a smile to passers-by. The seasons with their adjoining festivals came and went, and each year, after surviving the freezing winter, the citizens were greeted with the first budding flowers of spring.<p>

Despite the general fullness of life, there was always a looming question at the back of the minds of all in the kingdom. What was happening in the dark castle on the fjord, behind which the gates were firmly sealed? What had occurred on that night ten years ago, that caused the king and queen of Arendelle to shut the gates and turn their backs on the kingdom they had seemed to love so dearly? These questions were repeatedly asked and whispered about, but never able to be answered. Gossip and rumours had developed in to stories that had now become folklore over the years, but nobody really knew the secrets that lay behind those closed doors.

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><p>Elsa woke to feel soft ray of sunshine warming her face. Leaning up on her elbows, she breathed in deeply, enjoying a momentary feeling of bliss. This was short lived however, as most periods of happiness in Elsa's life were, when the inevitable fear would manifest itself inside her once again. Although this morning it was not just fear that changed her mood, but that same sense of confusion she had felt the day before.<p>

_Why was there sunshine in a kingdom she was meant to have frozen over?_

She sat up and swung her thin, pale legs over the side of her bed, careful not to let her bare feet touch the floor, and felt underneath for her slippers. As she pulled them out her brow furrowed as she realised they were green, and not the blue ones she had grown accustomed to. She sighed and stood up, taking the few steps towards her window. She felt her legs were a little shaky, and a feeling of queasiness caused her to clutch at her stomach. As she peered through the glass, she squinted due to the brightness, but there was no mistaking there was not a trace of ice or snow to be seen. The sun was sparkling on the evidently unfrozen fjord, and ships were coming and going from the port as they normally would in the warmer months. Elsa felt an incredible sense of relief, but she was unable to shake the uneasy feeling that she was no longer sure of what reality was any more.

_Knock, knock, knock. _Elsa turned her head slightly to face her blue and white door.

"Who-who is it?" Her voice still sounded a little rough.

"I'm here with your breakfast tray, Your Highness. Won't you let me in?" A familiar voice answered.

_Gerda._

"Come in. The door is open."

"Good morning, Your Highness." Gerda stepped into the room and strode swiftly over to Elsa's little table and chair and set the tray down. "I thought, seeing as it was your birthday, and you're feeling better, you might like your favourite chocolate croissants."

"My birthday?" Elsa mouthed. "But I thought…"

"What's that, my dear?"

"My birthday was the day of my cor…oh, never mind."

"I would like to take the opportunity to wish you a very happy eighteenth birthday, Princess Elsa. I have had the privilege of watching you grow into a beautiful young woman and I-" Gerda's eyes filled with tears, partly due to pride, but also because it had been so long now since she had seen the girl in front of her live a full and meaningful life.

_Eighteen?_

Elsa's head began to spin, and she had to steady herself so that she didn't collapse on to the floor. She sat down hard on the bed and rubbed her temples, in an attempt to think clearly. She remembered the day of her eighteenth birthday well, and it was a memory she was not fond or proud of, and would rather have forgotten.

"Your Highness, are you feeling all right?"

"Y-yes, I'm fine. I'm afraid I still feel a little ill and don't believe I will be able to eat my breakfast. But th-thankyou anyway." Elsa gave Gerda a strained smile, in an attempt to hide what she was really feeling.

"All right, princess, I will let you be alone now. I hope you are able to enjoy the rest of your day, all the same. Your parents will be in to see you very soon I should think." Gerda smiled softly at her, but Elsa could tell there was a deep sense of concern behind her eyes. She would have stayed, but Elsa was not comfortable with anyone staying in her room and she was obviously edgy.

"Thank you, Gerda. Thank you for being so good to me." Elsa looked down at her hands, and picked at her thumb nail. She heard the door click shut, and footsteps fade down the hallway. Elsa was left alone with only her memories for company.

* * *

><p><em>Happy birthday to you<em>

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday dear Elsa_

_Happy birthday to you!_

"_Happy eighth birthday Elsa!"_

"_Elsa, Elsa, Elsa! Open up your present!" Anna's eyes were bright with anticipation._

_Elsa carefully picked up the ornate box, encrusted with blue sapphires, her parents had placed on the table._

"_It's beautiful. Thank you mama and papa!"_

"_Elsa, you can open it up." Her mama smiled and placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder._

_Elsa slowly lifted the lid, and curiously peered inside. She opened her mouth wide in awe as she saw a miniature figure with platinum blonde hair just like her own, spinning around and around. She was wearing a pair of tiny ice skates, and behind her on the lid of the box, was an exquisite scene of gently falling snowflakes. Elsa was speechless._

"_We thought you might like her as she's just like you. Our little princess of the ice and snow."_

"_Oh I love her! Thank you, thank you!"_

_Her mama, papa and sister all squeezed her into a tight hug, and Elsa had never felt so warm, happy and loved._

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><p><em>The door slowly creaked open, and her mother and father stepped into the room.<em>

"_Happy eighteenth birthday Elsa." Elsa's parents attempted to look cheerful, forcing smiles. They loved their daughter, but it had been much too long since they were able to show her affection without any inhibitions._

"_Oh, sweetheart." Her mama couldn't help murmuring as she gazed into her daughter's hollow eyes._

_Her father stayed where he was standing over near the door, but her mother came over and carefully sat next to her on the bed; Elsa edged away._

"_We have something we thought you might like, that used to be very special to you." Her mama spoke softly, as she handed Elsa a box decorated with sapphires. Elsa took it and snapped open the lid, bringing back agonizing memories. The temperature in the room dropped dramatically and ice was beginning to form on the box. _

_Elsa attempted to shove the box back at her mother. "Please, take it."_

"_But, Elsa…"_

"_No, this isn't me." Elsa hissed, as the emotion welled up inside her. "All I am is a monster!" she screamed as she hurled the box across the room, smashing the figurine into pieces._

_Her mama had stood up and moved over to the door with her father; she was shivering._

"_Please go, before I put you in danger." Elsa watched her parents sorrowfully as they silently left the room._

_Elsa lay on the bed, knees tucked up to her chest and sobbed. The dancing figurine kept spinning around and around in a whirl of colours inside her head._

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><p>Elsa was snapped out of her thoughts by a knock at the door.<p>

"Elsa, may we come in and wish you happy birthday?"

It was all happening again. She was reliving her eighteenth birthday.

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><p><strong>AN Thank you for taking the time to read this story!**

**I hope the storyline isn't too confusing, but it should hopefully become clearer in later chapters.**

**Please favourite/follow/review**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thankyou to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/followed/read this story!**

**Chapter 3**

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><p>"<em>Elsa, your power will only grow. There is beauty in it, but also great danger. You must learn to control it. Fear will be your enemy."<em>

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><p>"Elsa? Can we come in?"<p>

"Yes. C-come in." Elsa stood and clasped her hands in front of her chest, a nervous trait she had developed years ago.

The door slowly creaked open, and her mother and father stepped into the room.

"Happy eighteenth birthday Elsa." Elsa's parents attempted to look cheerful, forcing smiles.

Elsa gulped. _It's exactly as I remember._

"Oh, sweetheart." Her mama couldn't help murmuring as she gazed into her daughter's eyes. She still looked a little dazed from her fever the day before, but there was something else she couldn't put her finger on. It was almost like there was a tiny spark of life in her again.

Her father stayed where he was standing over near the door, but her mother came over and carefully sat next to her on the bed; Elsa edged away.

_I'm still not safe. I killed Anna. At least I think I did?_

"We have something we thought you might like, that used to be very special to you." Her mama spoke softly, as she handed Elsa a box decorated with sapphires.

_Oh, why do I have to go through this again?_

Elsa took a deep breath, before taking the box with trembling hands.

_Conceal it, conceal it._

Elsa didn't want to have to relive this awful memory, but at the same time was determined not to let the same thing happen again. She would have to be strong and not let her emotions get to her this time. She gently ran a gloved finger along the edge of the box, then closed her eyes tightly as she carefully opened the lid.

When she had mustered up the courage to look inside, Elsa's eyes widened as she saw the figure once again. She was struck by how much the skater _did _look like her. Not as the sad, frightened girl shut away in her room, but the free ice queen she had been just a few days before.

_She looks just like me. _Elsa didn't realise she had said this out loud, until her mama answered her.

"Yes, darling. That's why we gave her to you when you were little. You loved her so much."

Tears pricked at Elsa's eyes, and she tried her hardest to blink them away. Maybe things really were different now that she knew there could be some beauty in her powers. It could be alright, as long as she stayed away from everyone. She would run away again, and this time Anna wouldn't be able to come after her as their parents wouldn't allow it!

_Anna…_

Just thinking of her sister's name made Elsa begin losing control again. She killed her…twice.

_Must fight it. Must…not…feel._

Elsa clamped her eyes shut in a desperate attempt not to lose hold. If she lost control it would be just the same as last time.

"Elsa, are you alright?"

Elsa kept chanting the mantra her father had taught her all those years ago, and attempted to block everything out.

_Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. Conceal don…_

Despite her intense efforts she could feel the room around her cooling, and the box she held was getting ever more slippery in her hands.

_Con…ceal. Oh please don't feel._

SMASH!

Elsa's eyes shot open as she brought her hands up to her mouth in shock and backed away. The beautiful figurine was once again on the floor in tiny pieces; it was as though no matter what she did, everything ran its course just as she remembered. Again she had to ask her parents to leave for their own safety. Again she resorted to the only thought she knew before, that she was a monster.

It seemed as though the fabric of time was much too strong, and Elsa was as weak as the porcelain version of herself shattered on the floor.

* * *

><p>Elsa did what she did most days of the year; she paced back and forth, trying to block out any human emotion.<p>

"Monsters don't feel," she seethed in self-loathing, "you don't deserve to anyway." She almost spat out the words.

Jagged icicles began forming themselves in grotesque patterns on the walls, causing Elsa to hate what she was even more. It was as if she had forgotten she had built a magnificent ice palace a few days before; she barely even registered that she knew the future at all. She was back to being a lonely, frightened child.

* * *

><p>Elsa sat with her back to the wall, head in hands, in a state of exhaustion. She was much too tired to show strong emotions, so as a result no new ice was forming. As she was about to fall asleep there, she felt something slide beneath her from under the door. She moved to see what it was and then she realised. Of course, it was a birthday card. Anna had stopped knocking on her door long ago, but she still slipped a birthday card into Elsa's room every year, without fail.<p>

Usually they would have the two girls playing together as kids on the front, but this year Anna had just written 'Happy 18th Birthday.' Either she had grown up or just given up hope. Elsa sighed as she slowly opened it and read what was inside.

_Dear Elsa,_

_I know you probably don't even read these, but I wanted to wish you happy birthday all the same. Not a day goes by when I don't miss you and wish we could take back the years we missed. But I guess you left me for a reason. I just don't know what, even though I've tried so hard to work it out._

Elsa's hands shook and her tears turned into icicles as the fell onto the page.

_Anyway, I just hope you enjoy your day. _

_Your loving sister, Anna xx _

"Oh Anna, I don't deserve you!"

_P.S. It will be strange when mama and papa go away for that trade agreement for two whole weeks, won't it? It will be lonely with just us and the servants in the castle. I suppose you get lonely too?_

Trade agreement, two weeks? Wait, what?

_I remember!_

Elsa got up and yanked at her frozen door, opening it wide.

"You can't go!"

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><p><strong>AN Thanks for reading!**

**Please leave a review to tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

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><p><em>Elsa gave her parents a small bow.<em>

_Do you have to go?_

_You'll be fine, Elsa._

_It was the last time she saw them alive, and she didn't even get to hug them goodbye._

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><p>Elsa cried out from her room, but nothing except the dark empty hall with its eerie shadows was there to hear her.<p>

"Mama! Papa!"

No one was there. Elsa stood at her door for a few minutes, in the hope someone might come past.

_Footsteps._

There were definitely footsteps, and they were getting closer. Elsa called out, in the hope their owner might hear her.

"Excuse me! Can you hear me?!" No answer.

Elsa peered around the doorframe in attempt to see who it was. There was someone peering back at her through a doorway down the hall. _Anna's _bedroom door.

_It is her! At least I know for sure she's alive now. Unless I'm still dreaming, but this all seems too real to be a dream._

Elsa couldn't help staring at her sister, taking in the features she could make out in the dark; the long braids, round face and slender figure. She wanted so much to call out and say something, anything. Maybe thank her for the card. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound would come out; she couldn't bring herself to do it. She straightened up and stepped back inside her room, heart beating, and clasped her hands protectively in front of her. A single tear rolled down a pale, freckled cheek.

She wished she could stay in the safe sanctuary of her bedroom, but realised this wasn't going to be possible. She had to warn her parents about their trip.

Elsa waited until she heard Anna's door click shut, before stepping out and carefully closing her own behind her. She hitched up her dress and swiftly but silently tiptoed down the hall, pausing for but a moment at her sister's door, before moving on.

She groaned as she reached her parent's bedroom, upon finding it deserted. As she was about to move away once again, something drew her into the room she hadn't entered in thirteen years. As she stepped through the doorway, she breathed in deeply as she smelt the familiar scent of her parents. She slowly moved over to the exquisite for poster bed and ran her finger delicately across the tapestry quilt.

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><p>"<em>Elsa! Psst! Elsa! Wake up, wake up, wake up!"<em>

_Anna jumped up onto Elsa's bed and lay down on top of her._

"_Anna, go back to sleep!"_

"_I just can't. The sky's awake, so I'm awake. So we have to play!"_

"_Go play by yourself!"_

_Elsa affectionately pushed her sister on to the floor._

"_Do you wanna build a snowmaaan?"_

_Persuaded Elsa jumped up and the girls ran down the hall hand in hand._

"_Come on, come on, come on, come on! Anna pulled Elsa along, and stopped at a familiar door. "Hey Elsa, let's go in here!"_

"_No, we can't! I thought you wanted to build a snowman?"_

"_Elsaaa, please?"_

"_Shh, you'll wake them up!" Elsa hissed._

_Anna ran in front of her and jumped onto their parent's bed, in the middle of the sleeping king and queen. They weren't asleep for much longer, however._

"_Oooh, it looks as though we have a visitor!"_

_Upon seeing her parents were not angry Elsa tiptoed over to the bed, carefully climbed up and squeezed in between Elsa and her Papa._

"_It looks like my other little daughter has come for a visit too." Her papa mumbled sleepily, putting his arm protectively around her and snuggling her close._

_Elsa fell asleep feeling warm and secure._

* * *

><p>Elsa rushed out of the room, leaving behind a light snow fall, and slammed the door behind her. She turned to run and crashed into somebody, almost bowling them over. Strong arms supported her and held her shoulders to stop her falling. She panicked and looked up to see the familiar face of her father looking down at her. Elsa gasped, and before she had the opportunity to think clearly, wrapped her arms around him.<p>

"Elsa…" Her Papa breathed, returning her embrace. He reached a hand up and gently ran his fingers through his daughter's hair, unable to believe she was allowing his touch after so many years.

Elsa silently sobbed into her father's chest, drinking in the scent she still knew so well. For a short moment of time she didn't think of the potential repercussions, and it was wonderful.

After a few minutes had passed, Elsa pulled away and brought her hands to her chest once again. Pain crossed her father's tear stained face as he realised the small window of closeness was over.

"Papa." Elsa whispered. "Where's Mama? I need to speak to you both, urgently." She spoke firmly this time.

"Your mama is in the music room. Shall I ask her to come with me to your room?" He looked at her questioningly.

"No, I would like to go to her now. It's very important." She gave her father a pleading look.

"Alright, Elsa. Come this way, if you're sure you can manage." She followed on behind him, remembering to conceal.

As her papa entered the room her mama was meant to be in, Elsa hesitated in the doorway. As she leant hard against the doorframe she heard a sound coming from within. She felt tears prick at her eyes as she listened to beautiful music being played on a piano. It was a song she had sung many times as a young child, and she still knew every word. Her mama would play the piano, Elsa would sing and Anna would do the sweetest little dance. She called it the snowflake dance.

As the music ended Elsa could hear muffled voices; her parents must be speaking about her. She took a deep breath, and entered, gazing at her mother sitting on the piano stool, looking weary but ever so beautiful. She reached out a shaking hand out to her daughter, hesitantly but hopefully.

_Papa must have told her._

Elsa stepped closer towards her mother, almost as if in a trance. She held out her own trembling hand and felt her mama's finger's against her own, before gently allowing her to clasp it. Elsa felt a shiver go up her spine.

"Mama." Elsa looked desperately into her deep brown eyes. "Please, you can't go to Wesselton by boat tomorrow morning!"

"Why is that, sweetheart?" Her mother was gently rubbing circles with her thumb on Elsa's palm.

"Well, I, um seem to have a good hold on my powers this evening, and I fear if you leave I may lose control again and be back to how I was earlier." Elsa lied through her teeth, feeling she could lose control very soon.

Tears were streaming down her mother's face as she looked to her husband for support.

"We will delay our trip as long as need be. Our daughter's health is of much greater importance than a trade agreement."

"Thankyou." Elsa breathed in relief, laying her head on her mama's shoulder as she pulled her in close. Conceal or not, Elsa couldn't resist her parents love any longer.

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><p><strong>As always, thanks for reading :)<strong>

**I hope you liked the chapter! **

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

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><p>Elsa awoke that morning in a surprisingly good mood. The bright summer sun was shining through her window once again, as she sat up and let it wash over her face.<p>

_Mmmmm. How can someone this cold enjoy the sun so much?_

She got up and slowly wandered over to her wardrobe, throwing open the huge double doors. She sighed as she sifted through dress upon dress, each full body covering and made with heavy material. She found herself missing her ice dress she created herself on the north mountain, which had somehow disappeared.

_Besides, I don't think that would be appropriate to wear right now._

Her hands finally settled upon a light blue dress which was slightly thinner than the others, and more befitting of her current mood. As she began to slip it on she realised she must have grown in the time since she had last worn this; it was an old dress even when she was eighteen. However, she managed to get it on easily enough and it hugged her figure comfortably.

_I must have lost weight. When did I last eat something? _

It was then that Elsa realised she mustn't have eaten anything in days; possibly not since her coronation party. But was she hungry? A loud growl from deep within her stomach answered that question for her quickly enough. She hurried over to her vanity and hastily styled her hair into a messy side braid, rather than her usual tight bun.

_I am so hungry. _Elsa tried to will her breakfast to come.

As if on cue there was a tap on the door and Gerda entered, carrying a big breakfast tray.

_Is that bacon? _Elsa started salivating, and had to prevent herself from drooling. _You're disgusting._

"Good morning Princess." Gerda was smiling, cheerful as usual. "You look nice this morning."

"Th-thankyou." Elsa gave her a half smile; she was flattered but also starving. She gazed longingly at the steaming mug of hot chocolate on the table."

Gerda seemed to have caught on, when she smiled once more. "I'll let you eat that then."

After she had heard her door click shut, Elsa sat down and wolfed down all the food. She didn't think she had ever eaten so fast in all her life. When she had finished she lay back, contentedly holding her full stomach.

_When had she ever been this calm? Not in a very long time, that's for sure._

When she had returned to her room the night before, she had been expecting a full on blizzard to erupt in her room, but it never happened. A little ice may have escaped her fingers, but not enough to be too concerned about. It was like there was a warm feeling had manifested itself inside of her after the contact with her parents. It been such a long time since she had felt anything like this, and she wasn't entirely sure what it was. All she did know was that it felt _good._

* * *

><p>There was light knock at the door. A little tentative perhaps.<p>

"Come in."

Elsa smiled widely when her mama's, followed by her papa's, heads poked through the door. She didn't seem to notice the looks of complete shock mixed with delight, as they realised their daughter had just _smiled_ at them for what seemed like the first time in forever.

"Is everything going alright, Elsa?" her papa asked in a voice much less heavy with concern than he would normally use.

"Yes, everything's fine." She let the corners of her mouth turn up into another smile while crossing her fingers behind her back, hoping it could _stay _this way. A near life time of worry caused her to think it probably wouldn't. She'd have to make the most of it while it lasted. Having her parents here, alive, was more than she could ever ask for anyway.

Her mother stepped forward and spoke to Elsa, a hesitant tone in her voice. "Would you like to join us for dinner this afternoon, Elsa?"

"Uh…I mean, yes I would like that."

Surprised at the positive answer, both her parents couldn't help wrapping her in a tight hug. For once, Elsa didn't pull away.

* * *

><p><em>Anna's going to be there! Oh great, oh great, oh great. Why didn't I think of that before?<em>

When Elsa reached the dining room however, she had to take a step back. There was _no one_ there at all. The room was dark and eerily empty, chairs moved over to the wall. Was she too early? Were they eating in another room? Elsa had a strange feeling in the pit of stomach which she tried to brush away. She couldn't deny this was all a bit strange though.

As she took a step back Elsa nearly crashed into a maid hurrying past; someone she didn't know.

She gasped. "Your highness, I am truly sorry. I should have been looking where I was going." The poor girl looked mortified.

Elsa bit her lip. "No, no, no. It was my fault." She hesitated before asking the girl "You wouldn't know by any chance where the king and queen are taking dinner today?"

The girl looked shocked, and gave her a look like she was an idiot. Elsa didn't like it, and her face took on a cold, calculating look.

"Would you mind telling me, if you know?" She asked harshly.

"Well I believe they would be eating on the ship, as they are on their way to Wesselton, ma'am."

"No they're not, they changed their plans last night," she barked. She was clearly getting irritated and she had to stop before ice started exposing itself. The poor girl probably just didn't know. She was only a kitchen maid after all. A little ignorant kitchen maid, probably years younger than herself.

Elsa ran away before she could do any more trouble, leaving the girl staring wide eyed after her.

She had to find someone who would know. Someone who would know the truth.

"Kai, thank goodness I've found you!"

"Princess Elsa, is something the matter?" Kai was looking concerned.

"Kai, where are my parents?"

"On their way to Wesselton, princess. They left this morning at dawn."

Elsa ran. She didn't stop until she reached her room and slammed the door behind her.

_They lied! How could they? How could they do that to her?!_

And then something came to a realisation in Elsa's mind.

_They left at _dawn. _Elsa had spoken to them _after _breakfast. _There was no doubt in her mind now; she was going mad.

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><p>"I regret to inform you…the death of your parents…my deepest sympathies…"<p>

Elsa couldn't focus. Her head was spinning uncontrollably, and she ran to the bathroom to be sick. She looked up at her tear blotched face in the mirror, digging her nails into her palms. She ripped out the braid she had tied that morning, and pulled her hair into a bun so tight she felt it sting as it tugged her hairline. She walked trance like into her room and changed into her heaviest black dress with a collar reaching up to her chin.

_The same one as the first time…The first time? This is insane, or I'm insane! Losing both your parents is torture enough, but _twice?_ Even if it is just all in my mind, it's still so cruel…_

She lay down in the gap between her bed and the wall, and tucked her legs up to her chin. She couldn't even cry. Frost slowly began to coat the walls and furniture and snow began to fall in gusts around the room.

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><p>Elsa didn't know how long she had been there. Hours? Days? But a sound from outside of her door had shocked her out of her trance-like state. It was a voice. A familiar voice. A voice a sad girl that needed comforting, maybe even more than her.<p>

"Elsa! Please, I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been. They say have courage, and I'm trying to. I'm right out her for you, just let me in! We only have each other, it's just you and me. What are we going to do? Do you wanna build a snowman…?" Anna's voice faded away as she began to sob.

Elsa couldn't bear it; not a second time around. Thoughts about protecting, concealing or going crazy completely left her mind as she opened the door to her sister for the first time in thirteen years.

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><p><strong>AN Another twist, I'm afraid! I apologise if the end of this chapter shocked or upset anyone. Things will start to get better from now on though!**

**Anyway, thanks so much for reading :)**

**Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

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><p>Anna let out a startled yelp as the door behind her opened, pushing into her back. She quickly got up, anxious about turning around. She had <em>wanted <em>Elsa to open her door, but after years of it not happening she hadn't really expected it to open now.

As she swivelled round she caught the gaze of her sister's eyes, looking at her from where she had poked her head out from the open door. There was a look on them that Anna couldn't quite read, that quickly turned into a coolness when she realised Anna was looking at her.

"Elsa…" she whispered, her voice catching in her throat.

Elsa's eyes darted away, and she looked as though she was looking for a way to escape.

_Please don't go Elsa. I can't lose you._

She had to act quickly or she was going to lose her. _Again. _And there was no telling when she might open her door to her again. Perhaps never.

_I don't know what to say, but I do need her. I just don't want to be alone any more._

"Umm, Elsa I…" She tried to continue, but all of a sudden began shivering uncontrollably. She realised the temperature around her was getting colder and colder, and wrapped her hands around her stomach in an attempt to keep warm.

She glanced down for a moment, and the door behind her slammed shut with a bang.

_No, no, no, no, no!_

"E-Elsa, please! Open up. I- I need you!" Still shaking, Anna leant forward and placed both palms on Elsa's door.

Elsa didn't respond, but Anna thought she could hear a quickly stifled sob from within the room. Elsa was crying.

"I- I missed you today Elsa. I know you don't ever speak to me any more, but I felt so alone there. And everyone was talking to me about mama and papa and it was just so much! I just wished you were there, even if you didn't speak to me….You don't even have to talk to me now, but can you just open the door…please?"

Anna was freezing_, _yet had no idea why. She backed away from the door and collapsed into the opposite wall, letting herself slide down to the floor, and placed her head in her hands.

_I hate that door! I hate it, I hate it!_ As much as she tried, Anna couldn't keep the tears stinging at her eyes from running down her face.

She was so cold, her whole body was numb and she couldn't feel her hands and feet. She wrapped her arms tightly around her in an attempt to keep warm, but it didn't work.

"Isn't it meant to be summer?" She muttered under her breath, teeth chattering uncontrollably.

She wanted to go to bed, but couldn't bring herself to leave Elsa. Maybe she would open her door again. She did once. Anna shut her eyes tight, and tried to think warm thoughts; it didn't work. All she could think about was the person behind that closed door in front of her.

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><p><em>Click. <em>Was that? No it couldn't be; it was her imagination. Anna's curiosity got to her however, despite her trying to fight it, and she hesitantly looked up.

Anna took in a sharp breath upon the realisation that Elsa was standing there, looking down at her. She was wearing black morning clothes from head to toe, but they were all rumpled as if she had been sleeping in them. Her hair was tied into a twisted bun at the back of her head, and wisps of platinum blonde were coming loose at the crown, as if she had been running her hands through it. She had obviously been crying as her eyes were red and blotchy, and looked as if she had been rubbing them furiously. She looked awful, but Anna couldn't help being in awe of her still. She sat with her mouth hanging open, still not able to think of what to say.

Elsa just stared down at her with bright blue eyes and a stony faced expression. She blinked once before speaking with a husky but firm voice.

"I think you had better come with me."

Anna obliged quickly enough, getting up and trailing behind Elsa as she strode purposefully down the hallway. She was a little apprehensive as to where Elsa would take her, as it seemed as though she was angry with her. And why shouldn't she be? Anna had been pestering her for ages, just because she couldn't seem to be able to take care of herself.

Elsa stopped short at the door to the library and held the door open, averting her eyes as Anna timidly walked through. Anna wasn't sure if Elsa would want her to sit down, so settled on standing, hovering over near the door. She was getting more and more nervous about what Elsa would say to her. She didn't know what was worse, Elsa being angry or ignoring her.

She watched warily as Elsa stepped over to the large, ornate fire place and knelt down in front of it. She arranged some wood in the grate and expertly lit a fire, all the time keeping her gloves on her hands. Anna wondered why she always wore them.

_Probably a fear of dirt or something._

Elsa brushed off her dress and slowly stood up straightening her back and holding her head up high.

"Come and sit by the fire. You're cold," she spoke sharply, beckoning to a chair.

Anna edged towards the chair, and sat down gingerly at the edge, clasping her hands in her lap. By this time Elsa had moved away.

Anna waited a moment, but when Elsa still didn't say anything decided to speak up.

"Elsa, I'm sorry…" she quivered, turning around to look at her sister. Elsa gave her a quick glance before rushing out of the door, slamming it behind her.

"Elsa!"

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><p>On the other side of the door, Elsa was leaning with her back the wall, heart pounding in her chest.<p>

_What am I going to do?_

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><p><strong>I would just like to let you know that this will not be a plot twist or anything. Elsa will see Anna again! Also, the questions about their parents should be answered in further chapters.<strong>

**Thanks for reading :)**

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**A/N Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed or reviewed this story!**

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><p><em>Don't let them in. <em>

_Don't let them see._

_Be the good girl you always have to be._

_Conceal, don't feel._

_Put on a show._

_Make one wrong move and everyone will know._

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><p><em>What am I going to do? <em>

_Oh for goodness sake Elsa, you can't just leave her!_

_But what if I hurt her? What if I still can't change anything?_

_She needs you!_

_I've hurt her too many times!_

_You hurt her more by trying to protect her. You have to take that risk._

Elsa was pacing up and down outside the library door, battling with herself. She was absolutely petrified about what she could do to Anna if she stayed with her, but at the same time felt it would be wrong to leave her again. Besides, merely protecting her sister had ended up getting her killed the last time.

_I just wish I could act like a normal human being around her. What must she think of me?_

Despite her insecurities, Elsa felt an innate need to be with her sister and make her feel better. She needed to look after her now that it seemed as though she was six years older her; she was twenty one and Anna just fifteen.

_Either that or I'm eighteen and delusional._

Whatever the case Anna had just been to their parent's funeral alone, and the only one that could help her and understand was Elsa. And now that Elsa knew the damage that could be done when someone was denied love, it was up to her to show her the affection she craved.

_I don't think I'm even capable of that any more. Anna was right at my coronation party; I don't know anything about love._

* * *

><p>Elsa couldn't keep a watery smile from spreading across her face upon seeing her sister. Gone were Elsa's thoughts running around her head of Anna being anxious, fearful or even angry with her. The red-head was tucked up on the chair fast asleep, snoring softly.<p>

_How did she fall asleep after that? She must have been exhausted!_

Elsa tiptoed over to the sleeping girl, and bent over her, heart skipping a beat. She found herself breaking into another smile; something she wouldn't normally do.

_She just had this affect over me, _she thought as she gently took out the piece of hair lodged in Anna's mouth, timidly but affectionately stroking her cheek.

_When was the last time I saw her this closely? She has more freckles now._

Elsa slumped down to the floor, sitting cross legged next to the fire. She lent her elbows on her knees and rested her chin I her hands, gazing up at Anna's sweet face.

As Elsa's mind began drifting her father's voice came into her head.

_Remember conceal, don't feel, Elsa._

Elsa, surprising herself, pushed that thought away. What she was feeling now was what she wanted, what she _needed; w_hat they both needed. And nothing was going to make her conceal that.

* * *

><p>Elsa had woken Anna briefly to guide her back to her room, and tuck her into bed. She had been so sleepy she didn't react to Elsa speaking to her, as well as touching her.<p>

_She would have freaked out,_ Elsa chuckled to herself as she crawled into bed and fell asleep herself.

* * *

><p>Elsa's night was fitful as her old insecurities surfaced in her nightmares.<p>

_What do you think you were doing Elsa? Her father's face leered at her. You put her in danger. You could have killed her! How could you be so selfish!_

Elsa shot up, breathing heavily. _It's a dream, only a dream…_

_Her mother and father were standing by a gravestone, mourning. As Elsa stepped closer she tried to read the name inscribed on the headstone… Princess Anna of Arendelle. _

_No, no, no! It can't be!_

_Her parents turned around at the same time to glare at her, pointing their fingers._

"_It was her! She killed her. She killed her own sister. We tried to keep her away, but she couldn't control herself…couldn't keep those evil hands away from her!_

_Elsa ran, and didn't stop._

* * *

><p>Elsa woke up early, a habit as a result of sleepless nights. She hopped out of bed and freshened up over at the wash stand, splashing cold water over her face. Black was once again her clothing of choice as she was still mourning, but this time she wore a dress made of a softer material with embroidered flowers on the front, sewn in black thread. She still didn't feel comfortable letting her hair down in its braid, instead twisting it into a loose bun that allowed her bangs to sweep across her forehead. She wanted to seem as unintimidating as possible, especially after yesterday.<p>

_I hope I didn't scare her as much as I scared myself._

* * *

><p>Elsa stood outside the door, chewing on her fingernail.<p>

_I can't do this! What if I'm not safe? What if she doesn't even want to see me?_

She lifted a shaking hand, and without thinking tapped Anna's signature knock that she used on her own door.

_What did you do that for, hypocrite? _

There was silence for a few moments, and Elsa began to get anxious, shuffling from foot to foot. As she was about to consider knocking again, the door slowly opened and there was Anna, gaping in shock.

Elsa's pre-planned speech and apology was totally forgotten when she saw her sister. She was standing there in the doorway, mouth open as wide as it go, with the most amazing bed hair Elsa had ever seen.

"Hi," Elsa giggled, before quickly covering her mouth with her hand.

Anna's mouth suddenly dropped, "Hi…hi me?" she faltered.

Elsa made an attempt to be serious, which was futile as she stifled another giggle, biting her bottom lip.

"Yes," she answered softly, blue eyes shining, "Hi, you."

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><p><strong>AN I hope you liked the chapter.**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

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><p>Gerda sat hunched over at the kitchen table with her head buried in her hands. Life had dealt a cruel blow to her beloved princesses, and she didn't know what she could possibly do to help them. Personally, she had never agreed to the complete separation of the sisters. And despite having the utmost respect for the late king and queen, saw their decision as a dire lack of judgement.<p>

_And now, _she thought bitterly, _they cannot even console one another in their time of grief._

She gave a deep sigh as she stood and pushed her chair into the table, hearing it scrape against the wooden floor.

_I fear too much destruction has been done, and Elsa will never be able to face her fears and heal._

As she wearily climbed the winding staircase and reached the top floor, she turned and stopped dead in her tracks. Elsa was standing outside Anna's door, speaking to her little sister. Not only that, as far as she could tell, the girl was _smiling._

_Oh, dear Elsa. Good girl. You can do this._

A tear trickled down Gerda's face, as she observed them from a distance, a warmth glowing in her chest.

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><p><em>I have got to be dreaming!<em>

Anna had to keep herself from reeling back in shock, or collapsing onto the hard floor behind her. It had been a shock enough having Elsa open her door to her yesterday, but she had seemed to be so angry with her then. That was almost worse than having Elsa ignore her. But now? Elsa had come and knocked on her door of her own accord. Anna had expected her to be disappointed with her at best, and tell her not to bother her again.

Her anticipations were wrong. Elsa was laughing and looking at her as if she genuinely wanted to see her.

Anna realised she had been gaping too long when Elsa became self-conscious, wrapping her arms around her stomach and drawing into herself. She had to pull herself together before she lost her for good.

"W-won't you come in?" She asked, with a slight tremor in her voice.

Elsa gave a quick nod, and followed her inside.

* * *

><p>Elsa was standing in the middle of the room they had once shared, gazing around her. Anna still couldn't quite believe she was actually there, and had to keep herself from constant staring.<p>

"Would you like to sit down on the bed?"

To her delight, Elsa obliged, sitting gingerly on the edge, straight backed with her hands folded in her lap. Anna plonked herself down next to her, careful to keep some distance between them. Before she had to come up with something halfway intelligent to say, Elsa broke the silence.

"I'd like to apologise for the way I acted yesterday," she spoke down at her hands without giving eye contact. "That wasn't fair on you."

Anna's heart skipped a beat. "It's alright. You don't have to be sorry. Y-you had every right to be angry with me. I-I shouldn't have continued to pester you like that."

"I wasn't angry with you." Elsa looked up in an attempt to show her sincerity, and found herself stifling yet another giggle. Anna had that shocked look on her face once again, and combined with her crazy hair was just too much for her.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, biting into her hand. "This is completely inappropriate."

Curiosity had gotten the better of Anna, when she asked, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, just your hair." Elsa mumbled into her hand, face turning red.

"Oh," Anna grinned sheepishly, hand going up to her hair. "It's always like this in the morning. So embarrassing…" she muttered, looking away.

"Are you OK?" Elsa asked seriously, worried she had hurt her.

Anna looked into her face, eyes dancing, "I've never been better. I wish it could be like this all the time!"

Anna was amazed that despite the separation and trauma they had recently endured, they were still able to share a joke together. Even if it was at her own expense.

"Me too," Elsa replied her lips curling up, almost into a smile. She fought back the urge to continue with _'but it can't'._ She knew exactly where that had gotten her before, and she was absolutely determined not to let it happen again.

* * *

><p>A few moments of silence went by, before Anna blurted out without thinking, "Why do you hate me?" Anna could have kicked herself at that moment. <em>Hard.<em>

Elsa's face went from complete shock to hurt at those words. "I-I don't hate you Anna," she choked, looking away.

The damage had already been done, so Anna continued, the hurt and repressed anger bubbling up inside of her, "Then why did you shut me out?" Tears were stinging at her eyes, as she furiously wiped them away.

"I-I can't tell you." Elsa's voice turned harsh, in her desperate attempt to control herself.

_Conceal. Conceal, don't feel!_

"Then why can't you tell me if you don't hate me!" Anna cried, looking at her desperately for an answer.

"I just can't." Elsa looked at her pathetically. She didn't know what else she could say. She couldn't tell Anna about her curse, as both times she had killed her, Anna had known. She had to protect her.

_I should never have tried to talk to her. I can't conceal like this. I'm a fool for thinking this could ever work!_

Elsa tried to run away and escape the room, but Anna was too quick. As she got up off the bed, Anna tried to grab her hand, taking her glove with her.

Elsa squeaked in shock, "Give me back my glove!"

"Elsa please don't go. You can't leave me here!" Anna pleaded with her desperately.

"Enough, Anna." Elsa's chest ached as she fought desperately with her emotions. She had lost her glove again, which could have disastrous consequences. She had to get out of there, and fast. Before she hurt Anna.

She managed to get herself to the door, Anna still crying out from behind.

"Elsa all you ever do is leave me alone and shut me out. What did I ever do to you?"

Elsa had her hand on the door. She could have fled, but instead turned around tears glistening in her eyes.

"I…enough Anna," she stammered.

"Are you really that selfish?!" Anna was shouting at her now. It was too much.

"I said enough!" Elsa screamed, gloveless hand shooting out shards of ice right in the direction of her sister.

Elsa collapsed onto the floor, covering her eyes, unable to look at what she had just done.

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><p><strong>AN A little bit of a twist again in this chapter, but I hope you liked it.**

**Thanks so much for reading :)**

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Another chapter- I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>Elsa was broken. Finally all her strength had diminished, and she was reduced to a quivering wreck. Without looking back, she fled out of the room, running down the hall with her hands clasped over her ears. She was in a cold sweat, her stomach churning. As she reached her own room she raced in and locked the door behind her, panting heavily. She leant back on to the heavy door, placing her head in her hands, nails digging into her scalp.<p>

Snow began to fall wildly around the room as her thoughts whirled around in her head. She was not able to think coherently, as images of Anna being struck with ice shards floated into her mind. She couldn't take any more pain. No. No more.

Elsa no longer even wanted to run away. She flung herself down to the ground, chest first. The blizzard stopped, snow settling around her on the ground.

_Monster. I'm an evil monster!_

BANG, BANG, BANG.

Elsa was jolted out of her thoughts of self-hatred by a frantic pounding on the door.

"Let me in!" A desperate voice shouted through the keyhole.

Elsa didn't have the will to ignore it, so shakily rose and opened the door.

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><p>Anna couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. Ice had just shot out of the fingers of Elsa's bare hand. But she had to find her! Elsa had looked positively ill when she had run out, as if she had shot the ice right at Anna and killed her. In actual fact the ice had landed a fair way away from her, but Anna had been too shocked to move or say anything. She just hoped Elsa hadn't gone too far.<p>

As she skidded down the hall, she could hear muffled sounds coming from inside Elsa's room.

_She's in there. I just have to hope she'll let me in._

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><p>When Elsa looked into Anna's eyes, she turned away from her, arms crossed protectively over her stomach. Anna could hear her sobbing, head now buried in her hands.<p>

"Elsa, it's alright. I understand now. Everything's going to be OK." Anna soothed, stepping behind her into the room.

"No, you can't stay here." Elsa croaked, still with her head turned away. "I'm too dangerous."

"You're not dangerous Elsa." Tears were forming in Anna's eyes. "I upset you and made you angry. It was wrong of me to say those things. I just wanted to apologise, now I understand." The tears were now streaming down her face.

"You have to go…" Elsa's voice was so constricted, Anna barely heard it.

Anna ignored her, going to stand closer. "I still have your glove."

At this Elsa slowly turned towards her, without making eye contact, and held out a pale, slender hand. As Anna timidly placed the glove into her hand, she felt Elsa's cool skin against hers, sending a shiver up her spine. Now all he wanted now was to touch her again; hold her against her and let her know that everything was alright. That no matter what Elsa could do, she would never, ever be afraid of her.

She knew she couldn't do that to Elsa though; knew it would be too much for her. She couldn't afford to freak her out again, after what had happened. Even if _she_ wasn't frightened, it wouldn't be fair on Elsa. Anna would have to be strong and leave her, in the knowledge it would be for the best , no matter how much it was going to hurt. She just didn't know if she could take it if Elsa were to shut her out again. At least she knew why now, which was something.

Anna turned to leave, hanging her head and shuffling her feet along the ground.

"Anna," it was no more than a whisper.

Anna turned her head.

"Th-thank you for the glove." Elsa mumbled, looking down at the ground.

Anna's heart skipped a beat. "It's OK," she replied, giving Elsa a small, hesitant smile.

Elsa still didn't look up, so she went to leave once more.

"Anna!" Elsa's voice was much louder now, and there seemed to be a certain desperation in it.

Elsa was looking up this time, letting her tears free fall down her face. To Anna's amazement and sheer delight she opened up her arms, shyly inviting her for a hug.

Anna let out a noise that was like a laugh and a sob all at once, before running over and wrapping her arms around Elsa, almost knocking her over. Once she was in Elsa's arms everything just felt _right. _She didn't care about anything else in that moment; all she wanted was Elsa.

_She doesn't hate me. She only shut me out to protect me- because she loves me. Elsa loves me!_

Anna nuzzled into Elsa's shoulder, sobbing into her dress, and probably getting her snot all over it. Elsa didn't seem to mind.

After minutes had past and they had stopped crying, Anna still didn't want to let go. To her relief, Elsa seemed to feel the same way, as her arms were still clinging tightly around her waist. As she buried her nose in Elsa's hair, which had fallen loose and hung in a braid over her shoulder, Anna drank in the scent of her. _She smells of winter, _Anna decided. It was the loveliest thing she had ever smelt.

She became concerned when she felt Elsa was pulling away, but realised she was guiding her down so they could sit on the floor. Anna let out a contented sigh as she let her head rest on her chest, as Elsa reached up and gently brushed her fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry." Elsa's voice was barely more than a breath.

_She shouldn't worry, _Anna thought. _I wouldn't ever fear her, because she makes me feel _safe.

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><p><strong>AN Anna is OK!**

**Thanks again for reading :)**

**Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

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><p><em>For the first time in forever, I finally understand.<em>

_For the first time in forever, we can fix this hand in hand._

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><p>Elsa couldn't believe what was happening. She had seriously believed she had managed to lose control again, killing her own sister, for the <em>third <em>time. _Thrice. Number three. Third time lu…no, _un_lucky._

She didn't wish to think about what she might have done if she had killed her. But she hadn't. Anna was alive. As alive as she could ever be.

From where they sat, arms around each other in a tight embrace, Elsa rested her head gently on Anna's chest. _Thud-thud. Thud-thud. _Her sister's heartbeat; the precious sound of life. Elsa could have listened to that for eternity.

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><p>Elsa was pulled out of sleep by a faint light creeping through the window and stretching out over the bed.<p>

_The sky's wake, so I'm awake. _Elsa's lips turned upwards in the faintest of smiles.

As she attempted to prop herself up, she was prevented by a heavy weight on her chest.

_Anna. She shouldn't be here, it's too dangerous._

Elsa shifted her weight and gently pushed Anna off of her, as gently as she could as not to wake her, so that she was facing Elsa on her side. She should have got up and left, but something within her prevented her from moving. Her eyes gazed softly over her sister's face with its coating of freckles, and drifted up to her hair. She had bed hair again. Elsa smirked.

As if by its own accord Elsa's hand reached up to Anna's hair, to touch her white streak. Elsa became thoughtful as she gently twisted the hair with her finger.

_Oh, Anna. I if only you knew the truth._

Then again, Elsa hardly even knew the truth herself anymore.

_I need answers. Before anything else untoward happens and I put her in danger again._

And then it hit her.

_Anna's white streak._

She winced as memories of that fateful night came flooding into her mind.

_I know where I need to go._

* * *

><p>"Good morning." Anna sleepily up at her, a smile slowly spread over her face, eyes crinkling.<p>

"Good morning." Elsa smiled softly back at her.

"I can't believe this is really real. I mean, I can't believe you're actually here. With me." Anna seemed both happy and bewildered.

"I too, find it hard to believe." Elsa answered somewhat distantly, her eyes glazing over. Her reasoning was far different than her sisters.

_I can't believe I am willingly placing you at risk like this._

Anna seemed to sense Elsa's unease, reaching out her hand to Elsa's own and gripping it tight.

"I'm just glad I know, Elsa. Now I finally understand, we can work this out together." Anna looked at her with such cheerful optimism that it made Elsa's heart ache.

_No! She doesn't understand anything! She doesn't know what I did to her, what a threat I really am!_

She pulled away, ripping her hand out of Anna's grasp, and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"No Anna, you don't understand. You don't understand anything about me." Her voice had a distinctly icy tone to it. One of coldness and indifference.

_Elsa, you are such a fool. You let her in and give her false hope, only to pull away again._

"Elsa?" The sunshine that had emanated from Anna only moments ago was replaced by the sound of fear. Fear she was going to lose her sister again.

Elsa felt Anna tentatively place her hand on her shoulder from behind, only to wince and pull away again.

_I can't do it. I need to leave her, before it's too late._

What made things difficult was that Anna was in Elsa's room. She couldn't very well ask her to leave, as she knew she wouldn't go. So Elsa got up and went about her usual routine with Anna glaring at her from the bed. She stepped into her wardrobe to dress, to retain her privacy, and braided her hair. To Elsa's relief her breakfast had already been delivered, as she usually rose at a much earlier hour. She wolfed it down, briefly forgetting her etiquette training and moved to rush out of the door.

"Elsa!" She turned to face her, hands moving to her stomach as her hastily eaten breakfast began to churn.

Elsa knew she deserved some sort of explanation at least. "I have to leave the castle for a while."

"W-will you come back?" Elsa knew Anna didn't only mean coming back to the castle. She was asking if she would ever let Anna in again.

Elsa looked at her grimly. She couldn't bring herself to lie to her.

"I can't say," she tried to speak as sincerely as possible, but she already knew the damage had been done.

Tears stung at Elsa's eyes as she strode purposefully down the hall.

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><p>She had thought she wouldn't do this again. She was merely escaping, running away from her troubles. With a heavy heart, she trekked higher and higher, trudging through the snow of the North Mountain.<p>

This had not been her plan upon leaving the castle. She had gone to seek answers from the only creatures she thought may be able to answer them. She had gone to see the trolls. It had been simple enough to do. She knew where her father had kept the map in his study, and of an escape route Anna had told her about through her door, where the guards would not see her exit the kingdom. Elsa hadn't even needed a horse; her powers seemed to give her more stamina than other people.

That had all been simple. What she had heard from Grand Pabbie, when she told him what had happened and asked him her questions was not. She had barely even registered what he had told her. Something about old magic and her powers causing history to alter itself because she wasn't meant to die.

What was clear though, was that it could happen again at any moment. History would shift itself and she would find herself in another space and time altogether.

Elsa was terrified, so she did the only thing she knew how when she was scared. She ran away.

_I can't go back, because I can't tell Anna the truth. Anyway, I'll probably just lose her again. Why do I have to be cursed with this magic? It's, no, _I'm _evil._

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><p>Elsa had reached the top of the mountain. She sighed as a sense of relief flooded over her; this was where she had last released her powers, and allowed herself to be who she was. Even if it did mean having to be alone. Anna had been wrong, this was for the best.<p>

Elsa lifted her arm, and a wisp of snow shot out of her fingers, arranging itself in mesmerising patterns. She went to do so again but was stopped by a strange sensation in her head. She attempted to hold herself steady, but her head started spinning uncontrollably before she fell unconscious, her world shrouded in darkness.

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><p>Elsa opened heavy, sore eyes as she was awoken by a rapping at the door.<p>

"Your Highness, it is time to rise. You have to prepare for your coronation today."

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><p><strong>AN More questions but some answers! Only pitiful ones I know, further chapters will go into more detail.**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**I'm really sorry about the delay for this chapter, but here it is! Please enjoy! **

**I hope I haven't made this too confusing but at the end of the last chapter Elsa was transported through time once again, waking up on the day of her coronation. This chapter will be from Anna's POV on coronation day.**

**Warning: This chapter contains mentions of violence.**

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><p><em>Don't become the monster they fear you are!<em>

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><p>Anna was in a state of frenzied excitement and utter bliss. Finally the day she had been waiting for as long as she could possibly remember was here- the day of the coronation! For the first time in thirteen wretched years the gates had been opened, even if it was for just one day. Anna had the chance now to find her one true love, and believed she was in luck. She had met this handsome guy with sparkling eyes, dazzling white smile and wicked side burns. Utterly drop dead gorgeous.<p>

_Mm._

What was his name again? Oh yes, Prince _Hans _of the Southern Isles; she just loved the name rolled off her tongue. Maybe if she got to know him better she could escape Arendelle and a life of wandering lonely castle halls, talking to inanimate paintings and being stuck with a sister who all but refused to acknowledge her existence. Here she was a nobody; merely a useless spare. With Hans, she could be a somebody for once. Maybe.

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><p>The ceremony was truly magnificent. The choir was absolutely mesmerising and Anna had to stop her jaw from dropping to the floor at the sight of Elsa walking down the aisle. She managed to move with such poise and grace, cloak trailing behind her in the most elegant manner. She looked stunning, b<em>eautiful <em>even_._ Anna couldn't help herself being in awe of her sister.

_No wonder she shut me out of her life. I'm no match for her. I'd just manage to get in her way!_

Anna turned her head away so Elsa wouldn't see her staring and locked eyes with Hans who was seated in a pew a few rows down. She smiled and gave him a shy wave and he returned the gesture.

_Well at least _some _people have the decency to acknowledge me at least!_

In the moment when Elsa was given the orb and sceptre, Anna could see that Elsa's hands were trembling ever so slightly.

_Well, she isn't so invincible after all. She still gets nervous._

Anna almost began to feel sorry for the older woman but brushed the thought away almost as quickly as it had come.

_Elsa doesn't need my sympathy; I'm nothing to her._

"Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" The crowd cheered.

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><p>Anna had missed her cue to enter the throne room for the coronation party, hitching up her skirts and running up to where Kai was standing over near the steps. At least she didn't fall flat on her face. At a loss of what to do she stood and waved awkwardly to the guests; she really wasn't used to these sorts of occasions.<p>

Anna was surprised as strong hands gently but firmly gripped her shoulders and propelled her over to where Elsa was standing.

"What, here? You're sure...oh, okay then."

Anna didn't resist, but stepped away slightly in the thought Elsa wouldn't want her that close. She looked away, clearing her throat, and tucking a wisp of hair behind her ear.

_Well this is awkward._

Elsa had barely spoken to Anna for thirteen years, preferring to shut herself in her room and keep well away. Oh well, there was that _one_ time when Elsa acted differently and acknowledged her without being so cold and indifferent. It was just after their parents had died. Elsa had, much to Anna's shock, opened her door to Anna on the day of their parent's funeral. Her memories of that time were hazy, but she did distinctly remember Elsa hugging and comforting her in their time of mourning. There was also a vague memory of a disagreement between the two, in which _ice_ had shot across the room out of Elsa's bare hands. They had resolved that though, Elsa telling her that in fact she _did _love her and shut her out only as a means of protection.

Unfortunately for Anna, things had soon returned to how they always had been. Elsa point blank refused to communicate, causing Anna to become increasingly frustrated. One day, seething with anger, Anna unrelentingly thrashed Elsa's door with her fist, until she got an answer. She did surprisingly get one, but it wasn't what she wanted. Elsa had said in a clipped voice that Anna was acting _irrationally_ and that she didn't ever come out of her room, and most certainly didn't possess any form of ice powers. Perhaps Anna had been dreaming or merely imagining things.

Anna had come to believe that this was most likely to be the truth. Her subconscious had missed her sister so much her mind was making up childish stories. The memories, or imaginings as they most probably were, gradually faded as Anna attempted to block the experience from her mind.

"Hi." A soft voice shook Anna out of her thoughts. Elsa's voice.

_Wait, what? She's speaking to…me?_

"Hi…hi me?" She faltered.

Elsa gave a slight nod of her head.

_Oh my goodness, she really is talking to me!_

"Umm…hi."

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you" She gave a breathy laugh. "You look beautifuller. I mean not fuller…you don't look _fuller, _but more…more beautiful."

"Thank you." Elsa smiled graciously. "So, this is what a party looks like."

Anna nodded. "It's warmer than I thought."

"And what is that _amazing _smell!"

Both girls inhaled deeply, before turning towards each other. "Chocolate!" they exclaimed in unison and giggled.

_Wow, it's just like when we were kids. I really missed this!_

Anna was desperate to keep the conversation going and preserve the precious moment as long as possible. She was about to speak when a voice interrupted her. It was Kai addressing Elsa.

"Your Majesty, the Duke of Weasel town." He introduced a scrawny little man with grey hair and moustache.

"Wesselton" he growled before putting on a charming voice for Elsa's benefit, "the Duke of _Wesselton_ Your Majesty. As your first partner in trade it seems only fitting that I offer you your first dance as queen."

The duke then proceeded to do a ridiculous jumping dance, actually Anna wasn't exactly sure what to call that, before bowing and revealing his toupee. Anna tried her hardest to stifle a giggle before glancing over at her sister. However, Elsa did not look amused in the slightest as Anna saw her usually icy blue eyes darken and glaze over, before stepping towards the duke.

"A dance?" Elsa said almost seductively Anna thought. "Oh, I think that _may _be able to be arranged."

_What?_

The duke was standing there looking thoroughly confused as Elsa stepped closer and began circling him. She breathed in deeply before ripping off her cloak and running her hands over her garments transforming them from dark green to shimmering blue. The dress was magnificent with its own translucent cape, hanging off her shoulders with a slit reaching to her knee.

_Is that made of…ice?_

The music had ceased playing and all eyes in the room were on the spectacle that was unfolding; the duke was positively shaking in his boots. Elsa continued to circle round him, like a predator stalking its prey. She released her hair from its twisted up-do into a messy braid hanging over her shoulder.

"That's better." She breathed down his neck. The duke shivered.

"Your majesty, I think there might be some misunderstanding here…" he pleaded.

"Oh no," she spoke icily, voice full of menace. "There is no misunderstanding _Weasel town_. The only mistake made was _you_ attempting to have _me_ killed." She seethed, as an icy dagger began to form out of the centre of her palm.

She grinned wickedly as she brought the fully formed dagger up to his throat.

_Elsa!?_

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><p><strong>Umm, I guess that was unexpected! Sorry about that!<strong>

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**Please review!**


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